Man&Women

SHOPPING MATH 

A man will pay $20 for a  $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she  doesn't need.
_____________________________ 
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS  
A woman worries about the future until she gets a  husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a  wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his  wife can spend.  A successful woman  is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________  
HAPPINESS 
To be happy with a  man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be  happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to  understand her at all.
______________________________ 

LONGEVITY
Married men live  longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing  to die.

金玉〔涼〕言

我就像一隻趴在玻璃上的蒼蠅，前途一片光明，但是出路沒有。
錢不是問題，問題是我沒有錢。
一山不能容二虎，除非一公和一母。

寧願相信世間有鬼，也不能相信男人的那張嘴！
對流血一週仍然不死的動物千萬不能大意…　
男人的謊言可以騙女人一夜，女人的謊言可以騙男人一生！
女人無所謂正派，正派是因為受到的引誘不夠；
男人無所謂忠誠，忠誠是因為背叛的籌碼太低…
我和超人的唯一區別是：我把內褲穿在褲子裡面。
我身在江湖，江湖卻沒有關於我的傳說…
水至清則無魚，人至賤則無敵。

喝醉了我誰也不服，我只要扶牆。

避孕的效果：不成功，便成人。
問世間情為何物？一物剋一物。
生，容易。活，容易。生活不容易。

一個人並不孤單，想一個人時才孤單。
我不是隨便的人，但隨便起來就不是人。
騎白馬的不一定是王子，可能是唐僧；
帶翅膀的不一定是天使，也可能是'鳥人'。
流氓不可怕，就怕流氓有文化。
水能載舟，亦能煮粥！

聰明的女人對付男人，而笨女人對付女人。

Working Status

Boss is not here：               Boss is calling：  

In a meeting：           Training：      Tea break：


Before noon on weekend：   Ready for getting off work：                Tomorrow is a holiday：　
Got today's target from boss：　   Tough target：


Find impossible to meet boss's requirement：

OT for 2hrs：         OT for a whole night：

Being notified to OT on weekends：
Meet with 'Sorry-I-Don't-Know'clients：         Made mistakes in work：  

Little achievement：          Frustrating things happens：  

Finance person doesn't give the money:    

Being advised NO BONUS this year：　            

Poem by An African Kid

When I born, I Black, 
When I grow up, I Black,  
When I go in Sun, I Black, 
When I scared, I Black, 
When I sick, I Black, 
And when I die, I still black.. 

And you White fella,..... 
When you born, you Pink,  
When you grow up, you White, 
When you go in Sun, you Red, 
When you cold, you Blue, 
When you scared, you Yellow, 
When you sick, you Green, 
And when you die, you Gray.. 

And you call me Colored ??        
      

12 Tips to save petrol

1) Pump up your tires Keeping your tires inflated is one of the easiest and most important things Saving petrol means saving money one can do to improve fuel economy. If a range is recommended by the manufacturer, the higher pressure should be used to maximize fuel efficiency. Deflated tires run hot and jeopardize safety. It will also cause the tires to wear out prematurely, affect the vehicles adversely, and hurt the fuel economy by increasing the rolling resistance. Tires lose about 1 psi pressure per month due to air loss caused by the tire hitting holes, bumps and curbs. Therefore, the tires should be checked at least once a month. Just 1 tire deflated by 2 psi will result in a 1% increase in fuel consumption. 2) Drive at moderate speed Avoiding high speeds on open roads results in safer driving and better fuel economy. In highway driving, over 50% of the power produced by the engine is used to overcome aerodynamic drag. Drag and thus fuel consumption increases rapidly at speeds above 90km/h. On the average, a car uses about 15% more fuel at 100km/h, and 25% more fuel at 110km/h compared to when it is doing only 90km/h. However, this should not lead one to conclude that the lower the speed, the better the fuel economy - because it is not. The fuel consumption of an average car increases sharply at speeds below 50km/h. 3) Clean the air-filter regularly Clogged air filters increase fuel consumption by restricting airflow to the engine, and thus should be cleaned/replaced when necessary. Clogged air filters can increase fuel consumption by up to 10%. 4) Use thinner tires Tires with thick width will improve the handling of your car. However, it will also increase your car's fuel consumption. Thicker tires mean more rolling resistance! , and thus will consume more fuel. 5) Start up the car properly With today's cars, it is not necessary to prime the engine first by pumping the accelerator pedal repeatedly.Do not crank the engine excessively This only wastes fuel.When starting the engine, idle it no more than 30 seconds to warm it up. An engine will warm up faster on the road. However, avoid sudden acceleration before the engine has warmed up sufficiently. 6) Drive in high gear (overdrive) The engine runs most efficiently between around 1,500 and 2,500 rpm. To maintain these low revs you should change up through the gears as soon as practical and before the revs reach 2500 rpm. For automatic transmission cars, you should always switch on your overdrive to help save fuel. Overdrive will allow your engine to change gears at lower revs. It also puts your transmission into an "economy" mode and lets it engage the final "overdrive" gear when cruising to ! keep the rpms extra low, thereby increasing fuel economy. 7) Travel light Avoid carrying any unnecessary weight in your car. On the average, every 50kg added load in your car will increase fuel consumption by 2%. 8) Anticipate traffic ahead A driver can reduce fuel consumption by up to 10% by anticipating traffic conditions ahead and adjusting the speed accordingly, and avoiding tailgating and thus unnecessary braking and acceleration. Accelerations and decelerations waste fuel. Braking and abrupt stops can be minimized by not following too closely and slowing down gradually when approaching a red light. It takes up to six times as much fuel to move a car from a dead stop than it does for one moving at just a few km/h. 9) Avoid strong acceleration The fuel consumption remains at a minimum during steady driving at a moderate speed of about 90km/h. Keep in mind that every time the accelerator is hard pressed, the engine goes into a "fuel-enrichment" mode of operation that wastes fuel.The vehicle should always be gradually and smoothly accelerated. Using cruise control on highways can help maintain a constant speed and reduce fuel consumption. 10) Minimise aerodynamic drag Additional parts on the exterior of a vehicle such as roof racks and spoilers, or having the window open, Roof racks are bad for fuel economy increases air resistance and fuel consumption, in some cases by over 20%. 11) Don't let your engine idle Minimize fuel wasted in idling by stopping the engine whenever your car is stopped or held up for an extended period of time. Idling more than a minute consumes much more fuel than restarting the engine. By having the engine switched off, you will save more fuel than is lost from the burst of fuel involved in restarting the engine. The net increased wear and tear from this practice is negligible. 12) Use the air-con sparingly Air conditioners can use about 10 per cent extra fuel when operating. However, at speeds of over 80 km/h, use of air conditioning is better for fuel economy than an open window.

阿公的愛情

在一個很忙碌的早上，大約是8:30，一個大約八十歲的老人家，

想找一個醫生幫他拆線。

 

他很趕，但醫生正在幫人做手術，所以他一直在等，不停地看錶。

 

當時這個護士自己不是太忙，看著老人家好像很趕似的，

自己又沒什麼好做，好吧!讓我來幫他拆線吧！

 

我叫那個阿公先坐下，然後我再把傷口上的布一層一層地拆下，

一邊拆一邊和那個伯伯閒聊。

 

護士小姐特然好奇地問：〔為什麼你這麼趕？〕

 

老人家說：

〔是呀！因為我約了人9:00，真不好意思，麻煩了你！〕

 

護士好奇的想：

〔八十多歲的老人家應該不用上班的了，什麼事情讓他那麼趕呢？〕

 

老人家說：

〔是呀…是呀…我要趕去老人療養院陪我的老婆吃早餐。〕

 

護士小姐就更加好奇：

〔啊呀！原來入了療養院啊！沒有什麼嘛？〕

 

老人家答：〔啊！沒事了，柏金遜症罷了，都好一段日子的了。〕

 

護士小姐幫他拆好了線，看一看錶：

〔哎呀！你會遲到，怕不怕你的太太會擔心你呀？〕

 

老人說：

〔不會，這五年來她都不認得我了，我去不去，其實她都不知道。〕

 

護士小姐很好奇地問：

〔她已經不認得你五年之久啦！？你還每朝早去？〕

 

老人笑笑口，拍拍護士的手說：

〔她不認得我，但我認得她，那就可以了。〕

 

跟著他就慢慢轉身走了。

護士看著他的背影，眼淚慢慢地落下來了。

她自己想：這就是我需要的愛情。

 

****************************************

真正的愛情不只是身體上，不只是講浪漫氣氛；

 

真正的愛情是接受，接受以前的對方，現在的對方和將來的對方．

 

無論他以前是怎樣，現在或將來是怎樣，

 

快樂的人不一定要最好的．快樂的人是把他所有的都看成最好的。

感人至深的東西

  感人至深的東西
>> > >   >   世界上沒有後悔藥
>> > >   >  
>> > >   >   妻子是個小尾巴，我走到哪里她都要問到哪里。我厭煩，她卻樂此不疲。可是，這
>> 個
>> > >   >   小尾巴卻在那個下著大雨的深夜永遠消失了……
>> > >   >   我的心情非常難過，內心充滿了內疚和痛楚，我無法原諒自己的過錯。
>> > >   >   結婚那天，老婆用買戒指的錢給我買了一款手機。那天夜裏，我們兩人在被窩裏一
>> 遍
>> > >   >   遍地調試著手機的響鈴。我們覺得，生活就像這鈴聲，響亮、悅耳，充滿著憧憬和
>> 希
>> > >   >   望。從那天開始，我常常接到她的電話：“老公，下班了買點菜回家。”“老公，
>> 我
>> > >   想
>> > >   >   你，我愛你。”“老公，晚上一起去媽媽家吃飯。”我的心裏十分溫暖。有一次，
>> 我
>> > >   忘了
>> > >   >   給手機充電，又恰好陪領導到基層，應酬到半夜才回到家，推開房門一看，我發現
>> 老
>> > >   >   婆早已哭紅了眼睛。原來從我下班時間開始，她每隔一刻鐘就打一次電話，我都不
>> 在
>> > >   >   服務區。老婆更加著急，總以為發生了什麼意外，後來每隔十分鐘打一次，直到我
>> 推
>> > >   >   開家門，她剛把話筒放下。我對老婆的小題大做不以為然：“我又不是小孩子，還
>> 能
>> > >   出
>> > >   >   什麼事情？”老婆卻說有一種預感，覺得我不接電話就不會回來了，我拍拍老婆的
>> 腦
>> > >   >   袋，笑了：“傻瓜！”不過，從此以後我一直沒有忘記及時給手機充電。
>> > >   >   後來我升了職，有了錢，手機換了好幾個。突然有一天，我想起欠著老婆的那枚戒
>> > >   >   指，便興沖沖地拉她去商廈。可是她又猶豫了，說：“白金鑽戒套在手指上有什麼
>> 用
>> > >   >   啊？給我買個手機好嗎？我可以經常跟你聯繫。”於是我就給她買了一個手機。
>> > >   >   那天，我們一個在臥室，一個在客廳，互相發著短資訊，玩得高興極了。
>> > >   >   一天夜裏，我和同事到朋友家玩牌，正玩在興頭上，老婆打來了電話：“你在哪里
>> ？
>> > >   怎
>> > >   >   麼還不回家？”“我在同事家裏玩牌。”“你什麼時候回來？”“呆會兒吧。”輸 了贏，贏了輸，老婆的電話打了一次又一次。外面下起了大雨，老婆的電話又響了：“你究竟在 哪裏？在幹什麼？快回來！”“沒告訴你嗎？我在同事家玩，下這麼大的雨我怎麼回
>> > >   >   去！”“那你告訴我你在什麼地方，我來接你！”“不用了！”一起打牌的朋友都
>> 嘲 笑我
>> > >   >   “妻管嚴”，一氣之下，我把手機關了。
>> > >   >   天亮了，我輸得兩手空空，朋友用車子把我送回家，不料家門緊鎖，老婆不在家。
>> 就
>> > >   >   在這時，電話響了，是岳母打來的，電話那頭哭著說：她深夜冒著雨出來，騎著自
>> 行
>> > >   >   車，帶著雨傘去我同事家找，找了一家又一家，路上出了車禍，再也沒有醒來。
>> > >   >   我打開手機，只見上面有一條未讀留言：“你忘記了嗎？今天是我們的結婚周年紀
>> 念
>> > >   曰
>> > >   >   呀！我去找你了，別亂跑，我帶著傘！”她走在找我的路上，永遠不會再醒來了。
>> 我
>> > >   淚
>> > >   >   流滿面，一遍遍看著這條短資訊，我覺得那一個晚上我輸了整個世界。
>> > >   >   老婆去世已經3個月，可我仍然無法從噩夢中醒來，我不想工作，整曰消沉萎靡，
>> 並
>> > >   且
>> > >   >   一次次想到了陪她而去……
>> > >   >  
>> > >   >   轉貼此文章的目的，就是要大家都學會珍惜！
>> > >   >   不要讓愛你的人受到一絲一毫的傷害！
>> > >   >   不要等到失去了，才痛不欲生！
>> > >   >